chapters (6)
The Opener
The moment. You match with someone, or you want to text a person you like. The cursor blinks. You type "hey" and hope for the best.
What most people do
"Hey" / "Hey how's it going?"
Why it misfires. "Hey" puts all the work on them and reads as the same message they got from twenty other people. There's nothing to react to, so it's the easiest thing in the world to ignore. You haven't given them a reason to reply, only a chore.
The rewrite
"Your profile says you've been to Lisbon three times - are you running from something, or is the custard tart situation really that good?"
The move: specific beats "hey". Grab one real detail - from their profile, a shared moment, something they said - react to it like a human, and end with an easy question. Specific proves you paid attention and hands them an effortless way in.
Your turn
Open with one detail + a light question. No "hey," no interview - one thing you noticed, one easy thing to answer.
Edge cases. If their profile is thin, make that the joke: "Your profile's a mystery, which I respect - give me one fact that isn't on here."
This week
Send one opener that references something specific. Notice how much better it lands than "hey."