Short answer: Assume they forgot rather than ignored you, keep it short and neutral, restate exactly what you need and by when, and make it effortless to act on. "Quick reminder the report's due Friday - anything you need from me to hit that?" Friendly plus specific beats passive- aggressive every time.
Reminders feel awkward because we worry about nagging. But most missed things are genuine oversights, not defiance - so a good reminder is a helpful nudge, not an accusation.
The tone of a reminder is set by what you assume. "As I mentioned twice already…" reads as irritated; "just flagging this before it slips" reads as helpful. Write as if they simply forgot - because they usually did.
Don't make them scroll back. Put the what and the when right there:
"Quick reminder: the signed form is due by Thursday. Here's the link again: [link]."
Clear and specific removes every excuse for further delay.
Lower the friction to zero. Re-attach the file, re-paste the link, pre-fill what you can:
"To save you digging, here's the doc and the one line I need approved."
The easier you make it, the faster it gets done - and the less it feels like pressure.
No guilt, no sarcasm, no essay. A reminder is two or three sentences:
"Hi [name] - gentle nudge on the invoice from last week. Let me know if anything's holding it up. Thanks!"
"Let me know if anything's holding it up" is the secret line - it turns a nag into an offer to help.
A deadline approaching:
"Friendly reminder that [thing] is due [date]. Shout if you need anything from me to make that work."
Something overdue:
"Following up on [thing] from last week - is it still on track, or is something blocking it? Happy to help unstick it."
A gentle final nudge:
"Last nudge on this one so it doesn't fall off the radar - is [date] still doable?"
If a reminder keeps coming out sharp when you're just a bit frustrated, run it through Rewrite It Better to neutralize the edge. Writing nudges that move things without friction is core to our Async That Lands course. For chasing a specific reply, see how to write a follow-up email.
Write a reminder that assumes they forgot, restates the ask and deadline, makes acting effortless, and stays short and neutral. "Anything holding this up?" turns a nag into an offer to help.
Assume the person forgot rather than ignored you, keep it short and neutral, and restate exactly what you need and by when. Ending with "anything holding this up?" turns a nag into an offer to help.
The specific ask, the deadline, and whatever makes it effortless to act - a re-pasted link, re-attached file, or pre-filled detail. Don't make the reader scroll back to remember what you need.
Two or three, spaced sensibly, is fine. If it's still stalled, switch from reminding to asking what's blocking it or whether the priority has changed, rather than repeating the same nudge.
Same principles, extra light-touch: "gentle nudge on X whenever you get a moment - flag me if you need anything." Assume good faith and keep it brief; seniority doesn't change that a clear, low-pressure reminder works best.
Frame it as checking on status, not scolding: "Following up on X from last week - still on track, or is something blocking it?" It surfaces the delay without assigning blame.
Real situations, before/after examples, and a quiz. Chapter 1 is free.
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